Well, we can’t say we didn’t see this one coming. Anyone who’s followed 50 Cent’s history of beef knows full and well that Curtis doesn’t half step when it comes to embarrassing his opponents. So it was only a matter of time before Curtis’ latest nemesis, William Leonard Roberts II bka Rick Ross got the Southside Special.
Yesterday, 50 released a video of him taking one of Rick Ross’ baby’s mothers shopping for furs and Gucci bags. Was the hilariously embarassing move a career-ender for Officer Ricky? All eyes are now on the Boss, waiting to see how he reacts. We’d advise Ross to respond using one of these methods...
#5: RECORD A SONG WITH THE REAL NORIEGA
The rap public scoffed when Ross boasted that he knew “Noriega—the real Noriega” on his debut single, “Husltin’.” We still don’t believe the boast, but his “realness” would seem a lot less fraudulent if he finally hooked up with the former De Facto Leader of Panama on a track. We’d even settle for a phoned-in interlude.
#4: CREATE THE ‘09 VERSION OF COP RAP GROUP 5IVE-0.
It may seem unbelievable in today’s world of hustlers-turned-rappers, but back in 1994, there was actually an entire rap group comprised of police officers called “5ive-O.” See, Ricky? Being a gloried security guard isn’t that bad!
#3: HIT THE GYM AND GET IN FIGHTING SHAPE
In the midst of his battle with 50, Fat Joe challenged Curtis to a boxing match saying he couldn’t beat him one on one. Rick Ross could do the same and promptly end this fiasco. But, because he’s the size of an adult sea cow, we suggest he hit the gym first. He already called himself Kimbo Slice on the mic. He should get down with the dudes who trained the fellow Floridian (before he got knocked the F out) and then arrange a time and place to whoop 50’s a**.
#2: MAKE HIS OWN VIDEO WITH 50′S BABY MAMA
Since 50 already threw the “no women, no children” rule out the window, Ross has no choice but to bring 50’s baby mother, Shaniqua Tompkins, into the mix of things. Playing off the line in “Mafia Music” where he talked about 50 burning Shaniqua’s house down, we suggest he shoot a video where he goes through her new crib and installs various fire safety equipment. “RAWSE!”
#1: RECORD AN ACTUAL DISS TRACK ABOUT 50 CENT
Out of all the things he could have dissed 50 about, we’re not sure why he chose to focus on him burning his baby mother’s house down. Was he scared to talk about all the real chinks in 50’s armor? Like, his canceled MTV reality show, getting outsold by Kanye, his numerous singles that have flopped, or his roster of failed G-Unit artists? Any and all of those would make great ammo for a follow up diss track. The man’s hard to beat, but he’s definitely not invincible.
